Journal #4 Chapters 10-12

From the perspective of Mrs. Dubose

“Your daddy is a nigger-lover” “Your going to end up working at the O.K. café.” When Jeremy and Scout walked by this is what I said to them. I said many different mean and nasty things and there is a reason for it. I am old and I was going through withdrawals. As u see I am an addict. I am addicted to morphine. You are not in any peril but I can be very snippy and rude. You young kids are always contradicting me. Why not just do as I say and leave me alone. Although I emerge out of my house all the time I am still unhappy and don’t like a lot of people. When Jeremy cut down all of my camellias off of the bush, I was so upset but I knew that he was too. Mostly it was my fault but sometimes they can be very cantankerous with what I say such as when I tell Scout to “be more like a girl”. She just simply says back “I don’t want to be a like a girl or a young lady.” My compensation for Jeremy reading to me every day after school and on Saturdays for two hours each, but what he didn’t know was that I would make it go even longer each and every day. When I died I had Jessie put together a small candy box that had a large, waxy camellia in it. I told her to give it to as to say I forgive you and that is how I left this world.